Just got the news that there will be no grading from sensei. Stating that he will be not free today whn he was the one who specially chose it 2 weeks ago. On my dad's birday. So we had to celebrate my dad's birday earlier this week on sunday to compensate for today itself. And here comes the news from sensei that "I'm not ready for my grading cuz I never train enough"

Wow there's so much to say about that statement I don't know where to start.

Personally, I'm not disappointed with myself or anything of that sort. I'm definitely angry with the final change of plans and frustated for ever believing in you and treating you with upmost respect when you don't deserve any in the first place. Later time I use to pity you and feel bad whn I don't help out (whn I'm not obligned to). But now I finally know why all your students have left.

Well, it's not my loss, it's yours.

But most importantly, all I know is that I have put in my best effort in doing whatever I was aiming to accomplish and I know I have reached my goal. I thank my best partner for nage no kata Guoying for continuously partnering me throughout everything. Having to endure my throws without pulling up and taking care and forcing your shit out. HAHAHA. But nevertheless, thanks for being there whn I needed you.

I swear no one will ever do nage no kata as good as me and you despite the imperfections.

So thanks for everything.

I think today most likely be the end for my judo/jujitsu journey, I honestly don't think it will end like that. But it's ok, cuz I know I've done myself proud in the end.

Looking forward to my probably last trging.

X